Now more than ever I wish to be in full embodiment. To feel full alignment with my soul’s purpose. To feel the grace of proper orientation in life.
I see that I am coming to crux, where old patterns of resistance to old paradigm work and discontent with the current value systems are coming to a head. Touching upon the gap, or what seems like a chasm at times, is where the inner work must be done. I am learning that balance is key.
I know I want to be fully empowered in delivering my gift to the world, whilst being fully supported by my environment. The reeling I feel is pattern. Where I jump into work for the money, but then jump out when its not authentic. This keeps me in a teeter totter, way off balance, feeling burnt out then trying to escape.
I must reprogram this, so I am creating work that is truly fulfilling. Where there is true fellowship, true abundance, true alignment, where I am fully authentic and engaged, and my gifts come to the forefront. Where there is a tangible sense of shared destiny.
And yet, I sense a gap, where fear lay. If I only have access to what I have access to, and abundance comes through in whatever manifestation it does…I feel I am having trouble divining that at times, which has made budgeting inconceivable to me. I want to allow for unlimited abundance, so I trust that it will come through…But then one day I am eating the richest foods and another rice and potatoes and not able to pay my dues. How do I find the balance?
I want to leap for greatness. To create a new paradigm. To be fully activated in my life’s work. Yet I still want to be in Integrity. And there are specific agreements that require federal reserve notes at this time. So in this transition I make it part of my manifestations…for my dues, my food, my diesel…
There is no way out in the current shape of my life. In fact, it seems, the only way out is through. I must find balance.