Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean its not there. Such is an adage I’ve come to find familiar to the workings of my psyche, for in the depths of perceptions I come back around to reoccurring songs ringing True. IN the clarity I can SEE , that which doesn’t occur when I’m not in that state of being…
Earlier in my journey…I grew up in the suburbs, in the concrete jungle. I attended that which is called a “public school”. Now, just for reference, all such things that occurred here were alien to me. It was if I was a bat in a den of birds, navigating for worms using echolocation in an iridescent buzzing landscape that *scrambled* my wild senses. I stood out, and did not fit the mold. I was forced into that mold. Given lectures, berated, medicated, and put back in the box. I longed for the wilds, to just be free, to just be able to speak and play, yet that which was natural was not normal in this society. It was like a prison.
I hated it. Hated it. It was drudgery. It was boring. It was cookie cutter. I longed for something more. I could just tell that mostly everything that was being taught was trivial, sandcastles built at the shores of eternity. I knew there was more to life than I was being hammered with by schooling, media, peers, teacher and parents. I could still sense…Magic.
Magic isn’t something illusory, or only in a fairy tail. Its as close as the air on your skin. Its the sparkle in the eyes of a lover, the chill of bliss, the everyday synchronicity, the revelation of being alive. Its always here, just waiting to be perceived…the goodness of life, the benevolence of creation, and the Grace of Creator.
This perception returned to me in glimpses…I remembered it from when I was a small child. I would play in the forests, talk to the faeries, and everything seemed filled with meaning. There was a sense of safety, as if the whole universe was my friend. Now I recognize that this is our Natural State; Ease and Grace and Magic, dancing in a Friendly Universe creating Beauty.
Why did I incarnate into a world devoid of magic, or rather one that had forgotten its existence? Well, the people are lost. They think that what they believe is true. That things are the way they seem, or the way we’ve made them into. That things will go on and on this way…and everything’s normal…
Yawn. The Shiva inside says destroy it. Watch the mundane cripple in the iron grip of eternity. Yet, the bodhisattva inside says “This is why you’re here. To help Remind the people of their divine heritage, to wake from their slumber – just as you do the same…be the beacon for humanity through your own personal evolution and embodiment.”
And so I paved a way through. At 18 years I was reminded by a series of revelations in the Sacred Land, with plant medicines such as Cannabis, and was catapulted into oneness with everything through psychedelics ( psyche = soul , delos = revealing ). Dominoes tipped.
I recalled my own soul, touched upon the infinity of consciousness, saw the patterns of nature, realized the holographic fractal nature of creation, remembered that I came from the land and that everything is Sacred…more on: that we are one with everything, there is only one divine consciousness, and that we are the lenses through which God experiences itself. Also that we have a Soul Purpose, and that our work should be the expression of our true essence on the planet, our greatest joy.
Between these experiences, I would slip back into amnesia…yet I would start to recall more and more, until it gripped my soul and I began to reflect on it more and more. Then, I saw a stark contrast…In the dreary eyes of those working for something they didn’t believe in, in the food from the fast food chains, in the ripped up earth, in the over-exaulted consumerism, in the violence on the TV and the games I played, in the disconnection and drudgery that seemed to teem the lands in the heart of Indiana, in the fear and complacency of the people. I knew that things were amiss…I just couldn’t *see* it before. The veil was lifted.
Thus began a difficult journey. I became obsessed to learn of the darkness that plagued the land. I learned of monsanto and the poison of roundup, of the global deforestation, of the wealth divide, of the scarcity issues, of governmental conspiracies, of the adverse health effects of our food and water systems on our body and the Earth, of the pollution, of aerial spraying, of climate change, of wars, of occult manipulation of human consciousness, of otherworldly creatures, of the dangers of vaccines, of “the Matrix”, and basically that a large portion of humanity is asleep to reality… I began to see everything in a different light. Where I had expanded further into experiences of unity and healing I had also touched upon the unfathomable expanse of humanities darkness…
Yet the further I went into the spectrum and awakened my senses to the realms I was perceiving, the more I realized that they were real. I came to realize that everything had to do with some distortion human kind is having with its Self and its relationship to each other, all of Life and the Land. There is some sort of schism there. And from my experiences I was led to the conclusion that things had to change, and I began to wonder if healing was possible…I wondered if other people we’re having experiences like mine, and if they had something to do with some sort of Awakening.
It led me to a precipice. An existential crisis. I needed purpose, and I couldn’t keep conforming and going on like everyone else. Nothing was normal to me, and I was amazed by the revelations I was having yet internally revolted by what I saw in humanities shadow. I needed to become something, someone new, in order to realign my being to the new orientation that it had been given on the nature of the human condition. What was being asked of me started to feel like a crushing pressure, and every day I felt more and more snuffed and repressed. I didn’t know who to turn to, because no one understood. Besides a select few friends who was having similar experiences as to mine.
What was put on plate was a tall order of super heroic proportions. Become the remedy for the planet. Become the change you wish to see in the world. It took a few shake ups and a touching upon the void, thinking I was going to die type experience, in order for me to get in shape. A book called BE HERE NOW showed up and I started a sadhana, a spiritual practice. I was led to many modalities of self healing, took a break from the mind-shattering-soul-revealing psychedelics, changed my diet to organic and mainly plant based, quit my job that I hated, and returned to the land many times. I became bent on healing, on integrating the revelations I had into embodied living. Then I started my travels, and left Indiana behind, for the wild west.
Since those leaps of faith I have grown exponentially, and have experienced miraculous healing and synchronicity. I began to be guided by Grace, and my faith continued to deepen. Now I am as clearer than ever, more inspired and free than I’ve ever been, and I take this time to transmit this message: that transformation is possible, that the universe is conspiring to heal us. We only need open to Grace and make our way with Faith, and watch the miracles unfold.
As I prepare myself for a new phase in my life I realize that I was sent here on purpose, with a purpose. That I needed to experience the drudgery and confusion in the collective and heal it within myself. Through healing my Self and my relationship to all of Life I embody that remedy for the Collective. For, as I have come to find, there is no separation.
One day I have been shown that I will lead people back to the Land, and help them heal with the Elements and remember who they really are…everything I do as my sacred work is tuned to this healing, to this awakening, and now more than ever, I know its real. I know I’m not alone. There is an entire pantheon of Avatars of the Emerging Paradigm here doing the same work, evolving and becoming their greatest versions in order to help humanity awaken and heal the planet.
I am filled with hope. The time is now. Let us be the Change.